I’m someone just like you. I understand the rollercoaster of TTC. I understand what it feels like to build up hope, be wondering if this is the “the month” and then feel the devastation when your period arrives. I can relate to looking everywhere for the cause behind our fertility challenges and getting nowhere. When a doctor tells you the cause is unexplained, it can spark a real mix of emotions – happiness (as who really wants something wrong with them?), confusion (how can they not know why this isn’t happening?) and fear (will I ever get pregnant?).
After years of trying to prevent getting pregnant and being diligent with taking my daily magic birth control pill, after my husband and I got married, I stopped taking it and we started down the path of trying to conceive. We were 34, in love and excited for what lay ahead. It was November 2013 and we had just moved across the Atlantic after getting married a few months earlier. We were ready to start a family and excited about sharing our love.
So, month after month, week after week, we tried. At first, we just stopped preventing getting pregnant. We went about our regular business and didn’t make any changes to what we did or how we acted. We had sex regularly but month after month, cycle after cycle, nothing was happening. After about 6 months, I started to have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about everything. The next month, my Type A personality kicked in and I ramped up my attack. I saw multiple doctors and got multiple tests. All came back fine. My husband got checked – he was fine. “Fine? How can we be fine?”, I thought. Finally, after a year of trying, we got referred to a fertility clinic.
At the fertility clinic we were presented with a lot of information about our test results (all “fine”), information about procedures we could do & (my favourite) statistics on success rates. These statistics were relatively grim and considering fertility treatments are not cheap my financially minded guard was up. I remember sitting in this room and feeling like it was closing in on me. I remember feeling quite helpless and feeling like I didn’t understand why I had drawn these cards. Like many couples, we decided to try our hands at Alternative Reproductive Technologies (ART) by doing an IUI first. By this stage we had been trying naturally for about a year and a half. We went in, did the procedure, and a couple of weeks later found out it hadn’t worked. I was asked right away when I would like to schedule my next IUI or if we would like to go straight into IVF? I told the kind nurse that right now we weren’t doing either. Something in my gut was telling me to wait and see. So that is what we did.
After about a year of trying, I had also looked into a lot of new alternative therapies to getting pregnant. It started with acupuncture, which led to acupressure, supplements and meditation. If we never would have struggled to conceive, I never would have found these gifts in my life and for that I am grateful.
I’m also a researcher – a market researcher to be accurate. Since I was a little girl, I’ve had a deep sense of curiosity so being a researcher serves me well.